The Drip, a novel by Michael Gullo
“Well, hello, Clover. Yes, baby. I know. Oh, that’s my face. I know, baby girl. You’re so cute. Okay, settle down. Not yet, ha? Okay, be careful, you’re going to knock Karen over. Okay. Okay. Let me sit down. Oh, my. Are you serious? I know, baby. I missed you too. Let me sit. Okay, stop jumping. Okay, good girl. I missed you so much too.”
“The spins are the best part.”
“She’s rubbing all of her on all of me, and she’s got her outside glands on to do it.”
“I smell it from here.”
“Hi, everyone. Why don’t you people greet me like this?”
“Well, Michael, I made you supper.”
“Okay, Clover, you got me all claimed up – thank you so much, Karen - No dog will mistake me as anything but yours – oh, it’s Pooty’s turn now – hello, Pooty. Hi, buddy. I know. Nope, it’s not time for a lap sit yet. I gotta go say hi to the humans now.”
“Come eat.”
“Wow, you people have like heat and stuff.”
“That’s just the stove.”
“I see Clover’s got a steady biscuit supply in the oven.”
“She’s a good girl.”
“Hi, honey. Oh, careful.”
“I could hug your guts out.”
“I miss you too.”
“How’s Kitty?”
“She’s a little frustrated with all the shed traffic.”
“Tommy.”
“Bigmouth.”
“What have you people been up to all day?”
“Karen’s had me moving bedroom sets all day.”
“Spring cleaning.”
“It’s Winter.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Come eat.”
“Did they at least make up their minds first, or have you been playing musical dressers?”
“They’s a tune to it.”
“Come eat.”
“Yes, Ma’am. This looks awesome! Glad you didn’t cook like this for the county, they’d never have stopped electing you.”
“They’re getting along just fine without me.”
“How’s the new Clerk?”
“I wish it was Angie, but they’re getting along.”
“You too, I see. Got Stefanie back in the nest, Jenny living right at the end of the driveway, Tommy on hand-carts.”
“Don’t forget Janice on that phone.”
“And Brenda?”
“Her too. Them three never lef the bedroom at Myrtle’s.”
“Keep that up, and they’ll be on the phone again tonight plotting how you’ll pay for all that.”
“Been married fifty years, and they ain’t got me yet.”
“The Henry women. They’re a force.”
“Yes, we are.”
“Well, the 1982 model is no dilution, I promise you that.”
“The cooking skills diluted.”
“Michael!”
“Not like that, Karen. She - doesn’t - cook – not she -can’t - cook. She won’t cook. I mean, her actual name took the place of the act, Cook.”
“You don’t like my cooking, so I just don’t do it.”
“Nope. You cooked once, added every mix matched flavor you could imagine, burned it, dried it out, forehead glistening, apron stained, you handed it to me so that even the simplest distaste could cue up the feigned outrage and establish the strike protocols and its duration.”
“There they go.”
“Tommy chimes in – Dinner and a show - appreciates the free ticket.”
“Ya do it to yerself. Like I said, bigmouth.”
“Amen, brother. I ain’t scared, though. The record is the record.”
“What’s going on at the Drip?”
“They cleaned up the skid steer, and today me and Tanner got the battery setup.”
“Heat tonight?”
“Nope.”
“Michael, you need to stop all that and stay here.”
“Can’t do it, Karen.”
“Won’t do it’s more like it.”
“Can’t, won’t, same thing.”
“Differnt.”
“Same.”
“Tommy, you can’t argue with this man.”
“Hard headed.”
“Do you want some macaroni salad?”
“I’ll get some for seconds.”
“Get another burger.”
“I will. Where’s Jenny and the kids?”
“Jen said Syd and FD are coming. Ethan’s at his daddy’s.”
“So, he’s here on the twenty-fourth. Good.”
“What’s the twenty-fourth?”
“Hey, Jen. We were just…”
“Hi, Clover. Hello. I know. You’re so sweet. Let me in. Hi, Mikey.”
“Hey, Jen.”
“Come eat.”
“Hi, Mom. What’s the twenty-fourth?”
“Jenny, how’s that leak. Is they any improvement?”
“It leaked in the parking lot all day. I kept the pan under it, and I put oil in when I left.”
“Still leakin near the tire?”
“That’s the strange part. I’m bringing it to Jason tomorrow.”
“Hey, FD. It’s about time – all you do is work. Syd.”
“Hi, Mamaw. Hi, Clover, yes, I know you’re such a good girl. I love you too. Let me in, girl. Hi Papaw. Mikey. Stef.”
“Hi, Favorite.”
“Hi Squidney.”
“Come eat.”
“I’ll take a hotdog.”
“Get a plate.”
“What’s the twenty-fourth?”
“It’s their anniversary – there’s onions.”
“We’re taking you all out to dinner.”
“Good thing you mentioned it today. I’ll need to get a night off.”
“We want you there too, FD, so it’s Saturday the twenty-fourth at Season’s 101.”
“Here, FD. Is that enough? Do you want more chili?”
“No thank you, Karen. This is perfect.”
“Is work busy this time of year, FD? You should come work with us up at the Drip.”
“It’s the slow season, but tourists never stop entirely.”
“I bet.”
“Look, look, look. Lookit the TV --- That’s Grand Teton. I’d sure love to see that one.”
“You’d like Glacier too, Tommy.”
“You ever been, Mikey?”
“Sure have. Look.”
“I really want to go to New England this Fall for the leafuses.”
“Stef, we have leaves here too.”
“I know, Jen. But it’s grander.”
“Here’s Teton.”
“What’s that peak called?”
“I don’t know, Tommy. I’m sure they’re all named, but we went for graduation – in May. The parks weren’t really open yet.”
“Who’s that?”
“That’s Nathan.”
“Who’s Nathan? I’ve never heard of him.”
“You have.”
“Michael, every name worth remembering crossed your mouth in the last ten years. Nathan wasn’t one of them.”
“It was. I’ve told you about this trip a dozen times.”
“You never mentioned Nathan, and I’ve never met him.”
“What’s this?”
“It’s a Jackalope.”
“Is that real?”
“It’s folklore. It’s a big deal out there – like our Sasquatch.”
“Big Foot.”
“Yes, Tommy. My bad.”
“That’s not real, though, right?”
“Sure they is, Stef. Right there. Nathan’s sitting on it, with red Crocs.”
“Here’s Glacier. I think you’d like it better. It’s more like our Smokies – still jagged rock peaks, no erosion, but stuff’s like more closed in – you’re in the valley, on the peak, not looking at them from miles away.”
“Did you fish ever’war?”
“I did, Tommy.”
“Catch anything?”
“I got a couple Brookies and a Golden Trout. We went fishing for Pike at this lake in Flagstaff – froze our asses off up on the mountain while it was like ninety degrees down on the flatland.”
“You look like a meathead in that pic.”
“Meathead, ha!”
“Now Tommy’s got it. Thanks, babe.”
“You camped the entire time?”
“Yes, my love. We left on May 10, and we camped every step of the way except once every four or five days we got a hotel for a shower.”
“So, just like home?”
“Har har.”
“How long was you gone for?”
“The whole trip was a big circle of the whole country. Took about a month.”
“Camped the whole time?”
“Every step more or less.”
“I bet that car smelled like bad magic.”
“It smelled better than this shed’s gonna smell when I’m done with it. I gotta head out and get back before dark, or I’ll be on the porch all night with Kitty’s bathroom habits.”
“Here, take some whinnies. I packed you some rolls. Do you have mustard?”
“We get a lot of those packets with our lunches and stuff.”
“I put some onions in there, and this is macaroni salad.”
“Karen, you’re too much. I love you.”
“Well, I love you too. You sure you don’t want to stay just tonight?”
“No, I can’t, really.”
“Won’t.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“My Love – Oh, that’s nice. Thank you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Night, Meathead.”
“Good night Tommy. Thanks for supper.”