The Drip, a novel by Michael Gullo
“Hey Amz, what’s up?”
“The listing’s been up ten days, and no calls yet. I think we have to drop the price a little bit.”
“I don’t drop my price, girlfriend.”
“Ten days, and I haven’t even had a call yet.”
“Okay, look. Your logic is sound sort of. The new listing rally has faded, and you drop the price sends out the auto-mail, and all the realtors get a fresh look. Problem is, I don’t drop my draws one crack hair at a time – especially not with all the realtors running the same tired game. I raise my price, and I get the same auto-mail, except this time the headline is price increase, and all the sharks, got this kind of customer on the tip of their tongue, would’ve ignored that first price drop, they’re curious, gotta see what I added to justify the bump. Same email, and it actually does something.”
“Are you nuts?”
“Stef snitch me out?”
“Nope. Raise the price was the clue.”
“Yep, raise it five percent.”
“Michael, I’m not raising the price and scare off all the buyers.”
“What buyers? You just said you haven’t had the first call - ten days.”
“You raise the price and the phone will start ringing with my broker and my friends, worried about my new listing.”
“Your broker isn’t my concern. Scarcity, and the god almighty fear-of-missing-out, baby. And next week when you call me to drop my pants again, the price goes up another five percent.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Actually, you are. It’s my house, and I justify the jump too. I just ordered ninety-eight new windows for the whole house. They come with the deal.”
“That. I. You can’t twist my arm like that.”
“Don’t be a pussy. This has always been an intro ad. We put it up to read the room.”
“Yeah, the real estate room, not the day room at the nut house.”
“Ouch. But wait, there’s more. I put together some script for the pitch. I just sent you an email, We want an owner finance.”
“What the fuck!”
“Hear me out. Now we’re in a whole new club. And we justify the price because we’re holding the paper, and on top of that I catch points on the back side.”
“No way Stef goes for that.”
“Wanna bet? Our whole life is patient money.”